Taking on the Fear of Change

As busy mums, we often desire stability and predictability in our hectic schedules and juggling multiple roles as mothers, caregivers, homemakers and professionals-at-work. We love to plan every second of our day, hoping to control every aspect, yet life often throws unexpected challenges our way from  unexpectedly running out of ingredients while preparing dinner or last-minute changes in work deadlines. Larger more exciting events can also pop up like being offered your dream job after going on maternity leave which can really shake up your life.

Acknowledge The Fear of Change

Experts believe that fear of change is the brain's natural reaction to new and unfamiliar situations. We worry about our ability to cope with the outcome because we don't know what to expect (French, 2024). This is our brain's way of keeping us comfortable, but hey, that's not much fun, isn’t it? So, don't let fear hold you back from experiencing all that life has to offer. Just accept change as a natural part of life and we can better prepare ourselves to handle whatever comes our way. And when you start to feel overwhelmed, always lean on your family and friends, they've probably got lots of advice and stories to share. Or you can consider getting some professional advice if things get too much to handle.

Adopt A View That Change Is Possible 

If we believe that we react to certain situations in a specific way, then we tend to avoid these situations. Over time, this avoidance can create a cycle of fear and anxiety, making challenges seem even scarier down the road. I used to avoid taking on new projects at work, worried that they'd mess with my family time. This behaviour left me feeling stuck, held me back from career growth, and left me wondering what might have been. The fear of missing out on both personal and career opportunities became overwhelming, trapping me in a state of constant self-doubt. 

Then one day, my daughter asked me why I never talked about my work with excitement unlike some of her friends' parents. Her innocent question made me realise that my fear of disruption was holding me back not only professionally, but also personally. So, I decided to shake things up and take on a smaller project at work. With a little help from my colleagues, I managed to juggle it all without sacrificing much family time. This experience showed me that change is doable if you just take it step by step and be kind to yourself. 

Choose How You Respond to Different Situations

Try this exercise: visualise being faced with a challenging situation or your worst-case scenario. Instead of freaking out, imagine yourself responding with a smile and a cheerful attitude. This change in mindset not only boosts your mood but also helps us create a more optimistic world around us. For instance, if I’m looking forward to my best friend's farewell dinner, but my husband can't take care of my kids due to a last-minute meeting, I can host a mini farewell at home instead. If my kids get restless, I can involve them in the cooking and make them mini chefs, and my friends can help finish preparing the meal. No need to stress about dishes—leave them for tomorrow!

If the kids fall asleep in their play clothes, let them. By adopting this practice often, we can train our minds to handle challenges with calmness and optimism. See how the focus has shifted from problem-solving to solution-finding. By transforming our mindset, we also learn to enjoy every moment with a positive attitude instead of being dominated by our worries.

Deal with your fear of change

How about supporting your child in learning to manage their fears of change? When we take on this mindset, accepting the fear of change becomes easier because we’re doing it to set an example for our kids. When our eldest son wanted to go on a solo trip at 23, we were really anxious. But we let him go despite our fears, and when he returned home safely, he had became more confident and independent. This adventure was not just my son’s first step into independence, but also my chance to practice letting go with a smile. 

And lastly, let's not forget to add some physical exercise too. Whether it's dancing in your living room or going for a walk, exercise not only keeps us fit, but also releases those happy endorphins, making it easier to face life's challenges. Just stay open-minded and be willing to make adjustments along the way.

Sources:

French, M. (2024, March 12). Fear of change: What it is and how to cope. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/fear-of-change-phobia