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How To Better Communicate With Your Kids

Marie Tay

Updated: Feb 28


In today’s busy world, many families struggle to connect with each other while balancing work, school and social activities. Engaging in meaningful conversations can be a challenge, but studies show that effective parent-child communication significantly enhances emotional well-being of children and strengthens family relationships. 


Tips For Better Parent-Child Communication


  1. Active Listening


Understanding Non-verbal Cues

Kids often express themselves through body language, tone and facial expressions. For instance, a child may say they are happy, but their slumped shoulders and lack of eye contact can signal something different. Recognising these non-verbal cues can provide an inkling to your child's emotions and feelings.

Practicing Reflective Listening

Reflective listening involves repeating back what your child says to confirm understanding. You might say, "So, it sounds like you're worried about the test." This shows that you are engaged and care about their feelings. 

Creating a Safe Space for Open Dialogue

Create an environment where your kids feel safe to express themselves. Emphasise empathy and non-judgment, and encourage your kids to share without fear of criticism or ridicule.


  1. Going Beyond "How was your day?"


Asking Open-Ended Questions

To encourage more engaging conversations, ask open-ended questions. Instead of asking, "Did you have fun at school?", try "What was the best part of your day?"
Open-ended questions invite children to share more details and their thoughts.

Clarifying Questions

When you want to understand better, use clarifying questions. For example, if your child mentions something upsetting, ask, "Can you tell me more about what happened?" This demonstrates genuine interest.

Avoiding Interruptions and Judgments

Give children space to express themselves fully. Avoid interrupting or judging what they say. Instead, listen actively to foster a non-threatening dialogue.


  1. Tailoring Your Communication to Your Child's Age


Toddlers

With toddlers, keep language simple and use lots of non-verbal cues. Kids at this age benefit from play and companionship. Storytelling is another effective way to reach toddlers and enhance their communication skills.

Tweens and Teens

As children grow into tweens and teens, they seek independence and may shut down during conversations. Many teens feel misunderstood by their parents at times. Recognise their need for autonomy while maintaining open lines of communication.

Customise Your Communication Style

Each child is unique. Pay attention to individual personalities and adjust your communication style accordingly. Some children are more verbal while others might express feelings through creativity or silence.


  1. Managing Conflict and Difficult Conversations


Staying Calm Under Pressure

In difficult discussions, keeping calm is essential. Model healthy conflict resolution by taking deep breaths and maintaining a composed demeanor. This sets an example for your child.

Using "I" Statements

When expressing feelings during conflicts, use "I" statements instead of "You" statements. For instance, say, "I feel upset when my concerns aren’t heard," instead of "You never listen to me." This helps communicate feelings without blame.

Finding Common Ground and Compromise

Focus on finding solutions rather than assigning blame. Ask your child what they think could work and work together to come to an agreement. This collaborative approach reinforces teamwork and understanding.


  1. Building Strong Family Bonds

Creating Regular Family Time

Set aside dedicated time each week for family conversations. Whether it’s a family dinner or game night, this time fosters meaningful connections. 

Engaging in Shared Activities

Participating together in activities like cooking or playing a game, strengthens relationships. Shared experiences naturally lead to discussions and bonding moments.

Expressing Appreciation and Affection

Regularly express love and appreciation. Compliments and affectionate gestures reinforce positive communication patterns and strengthen emotional ties.


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