An unexpected pregnancy can test the bonds we hold dear, challenging and changing families in ways we do not expect. This is a 3-part mini series on a family thrown into turmoil when seventeen-year-old Hana announces her unexpected pregnancy. Series 1 is told from a sibling's point of view, Series 2 - a mother's perspective and Series 3 - a father's perspective to highlight the complexity of love, disappointment and the struggle to understand one another through difficult decisions. Read Series 1: A Sibling’s Burden
Series 2: A Mother's Breakdown
Part 1: Unspoken Accusations
I didn’t speak to Hana for days after the revelation. I tried to keep the peace, but every
time I saw Hana’s face—red from crying or pale with guilt—I felt torn. I wanted to tell her
that it was okay, that we would get through it, but I knew it wasn’t.
Our family wasn’t built for this kind of hardship. We barely had enough for utilities,
let alone the diapers, baby formula or whatever else Hana would need if she decided to
keep the baby.
I was talking to my sister on the phone that night and somehow I surprised myself with
brutal words that subconsciously came out from my mouth. “She’s ruined us,” I mumbled under my breath, the words sharp and accusing. “She’s ruined everything.”
I didn’t know what to say. What could I say? Hana had in fact ruined everything. She
didn’t mean to, but she had.
Part 2: The Harsh Reality
I couldn’t keep pretending everything was fine. The situation was a disaster and we
needed to face it head-on. So I did the practical thing and sat Hana down. I could see
how scared she was, but I was past being gentle. We needed to get real.
“Hana,” I said, keeping my voice steady despite whatever was boiling inside me. “We
need to talk about your options. This isn’t something we can wish away.”
She didn’t say anything. She just looked down, her fingers fidgeting on the table. I didn’t
care about her fear. I was furious.
“First,” I continued, biting my words, “you keep the baby. If you think you’re ready for
that, fine. But you better understand what it means. It’s not just about nine months of
carrying a baby. It’s about your whole damn life. And ours. I don’t know how we’re
supposed to manage with a baby when we can barely pay the bills as it is.”
“Second option,” I said, “adoption. You don’t want to be a mother? Fine, let someone
else raise your child. You walk away, and you don’t look back. But that’s a choice you’ll
have to live with.”
Hana flinched. I saw it. She didn’t want to hear it, but it was the truth.
“And third… abortion. If you’re not ready to be a mother—if this is too much for
you—then take that option. But whatever you choose, you’ll live with it. You don’t get to
undo this.”
She stayed silent, staring at her hands. I felt the anger rising in my chest again. “You’re
going to have to make a decision, Hana. I can’t do this for you, but I’m not going to
pretend everything is going to be fine. It’s not.”
I stood up and turned away, too angry to look at her. I couldn’t hold her hand through
this. I couldn’t fix this for her. She was on her own now, and I didn’t know if I could
forgive her for this.
Part 3: The Burden of Love
I couldn't stop the thoughts from spiraling and they haunted me like shadows—no
matter how hard I tried to push them away. I had spent so much of my life trying to
make sure my children were safe, protected, given opportunities and now Hana was
about to throw it all away.
The shock, the betrayal—it still gnawed at me. There were moments when I couldn’t
even look at her without the wave of anger rising again. She was only seventeen. How
could she be so reckless? So selfish? Every time I thought about it, the anger twisted
tighter in my chest. I had done everything I could to raise her right, to show her what
was important, to give her the kind of foundation she could build a future on. And now…
now she was pregnant.
But the anger didn’t last forever. It couldn’t. In the stillness of the night, when I was
alone, the anger would fade just long enough for me to think about what was truly at the
core of all of this: her. Could I really expect her to get rid of this baby when I myself
could not imagine life without my children?
Hana, my beautiful, stubborn, complicated girl. She was scared and I could see it. She
wasn’t the carefree, confident young woman she used to be—she was burdened and I
could feel it too. This was all of us, our entire family, thrown into turmoil by one
impulsive decision.
And now, I had to face the fact that, no matter how much I wanted to rail against her
choices, no matter how much I resented the mess she was bringing into our already
fragile world, I could not walk away. The mother in me couldn’t do that. But that didn’t
mean I wasn’t upset. Upset that this mistake was going to change everything for all of
us. Upset that Hana’s future, my future, was being reshaped by something we couldn’t
take back. I had lived my life one way, and now everything was uncertain.
And that meant something. Even if it didn’t feel like it at the moment.
If you or anyone you know is going through an unexpected pregnancy, please don't hesitate to reach out to us at 9183 4483. Remember that you're not alone.
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