07 Apr Premature Ejaculation
Premature ejaculation is one of the common sexual problems, especially among newly married couples. It is most often caused by anxiety and rarely due to physical problems.
This condition is defined as ejaculation before the man wishes it (American Psychiatric Association). How long a man is able to last before orgasm is rather subjective. For men sexual responses can vary. Sometimes he reaches orgasm quickly while at other times, he takes longer. On the average it takes about two to four minutes from vaginal penetration to ejaculation. The important issue is the inability to delay ejaculation to the satisfaction of both partners. It can occur temporarily in teenagers, sexually inexperienced men, and people who have abstained from sex for a long-time. Occasionally, it may be a symptom of some nervous disorders.
Premature ejaculation becomes an issue when a couple cannot have proper sexual intercourse and begin to feel frustrated and unsatisfied. The couple may slowly lose the desire for sexual intercourse that leads to problems in marital relationship. Sometimes premature ejaculation creates a lack of sexual fulfilment that can lead to anxiety and erectile dysfunction.
Fortunately, the condition can improve with medical guidance. Practice makes perfect, and relaxation will help the man deal with the problem. He can try to distract himself by having non-sexual thoughts to avoid becoming excited too fast. He should also not be too preoccupied with sex to the exclusion of all other sexual activities, and should never end a sexual encounter as soon as he has had an orgasm. In a marital relationship, the wife may consider affection, romance and passion more important than the physical aspects of sexual responses.
Some helpful tips
- The “stop and start” technique.
- To delay the ejaculation, the man should first learn how to identify and control the sensations leading to orgasm. Sexual stimulation is done by the spouse with the aid of a lubricant until he is close to climax. The stimulation is then stopped for about thirty seconds. This allows him to relax before starting again. Repeat the procedure a few times until final ejaculation occurs.
- The squeeze technique.
- This is a variation of the above. This technique involves sexual stimulation until the man recognizes that he is about to ejaculate. At this point, the spouse gently places the thumb and index finger around the tip or mid shaft of the penis and squeeze firmly for 15 second withholding further sexual stimulation for about 30 seconds, and then resuming stimulation. The sequence may be repeated by the spouse until ejaculation is desired, the final time allowing the stimulation to continue until ejaculation occurs.
- Sexual positions can also affect a man’s ability to control ejaculation. Allowing the wife to be on top will allow the man to be more relaxed and have better control.
- Avoid drugs and alcohol.
- Antidepressants and other selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) may be helpful because these may prolong the time needed to achieve ejaculation.
- Local anaesthetic creams may be applied to the penis to decrease stimulation. Decreased feeling in the penis may prolong the time before ejaculation. Condom use may also have this effect for some men.
Learning ejaculatory control is like learning any skill. It requires patience and perseverance of a committed partnership.